why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize