i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
