He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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