I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
