ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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