the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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