I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
