yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
farters have to be the big spoon...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize