8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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