I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
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