you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize