I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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