dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
