So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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