Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize