And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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