There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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