dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
