I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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