Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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