y did u give ur computer a hand job?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize