Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize