I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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