I love black thongs
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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