so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
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I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
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I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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