I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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