when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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