Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This toilet bowl is my home.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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