I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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