If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
