can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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