I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
