kristin has been a bad kristin
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize