It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
