FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
