Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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