her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Too much gin, very little bucket
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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