Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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