super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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