That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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