I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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