He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
