We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
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I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.