Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?