Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass