We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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