What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I want is dick and wine.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
