Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I just shit out all my problems.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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