So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
two words: eviction party
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
