Your face is a jimmy john
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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