I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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