Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.