Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  R you on birth control?

  (1-212): View more from New York

  No, why?

  (212): View more from New York

  ...no reason

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  (212): R you on birth control? (1-212): No, why? (212): ...no reason http://tfl.nu/zfov
  Replies (6) Good night (518) Bad night (1364)
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  (415): View more from California

  I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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  (415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (1009) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  "Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.

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  (419): "Morning after" poops are always like, interesting. http://tfl.nu/5eje
  Replies (12) Good night (889) Bad night (2172) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.

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  (920): Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later. http://tfl.nu/9vwo
  Replies (4) Good night (2064) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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  (858): I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it. http://tfl.nu/e9ge
  Replies (26) Good night (1901) Bad night (2714) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

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  (847): He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours. http://tfl.nu/vgfj
  Replies (118) Good night (39608) Bad night (1605) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.

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  (707): He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/vg98
  Replies (18) Good night (786) Bad night (5745) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.

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  (717): Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire. http://tfl.nu/xlxu
  Replies (11) Good night (978) Bad night (2281) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.

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  (574): Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things. http://tfl.nu/zj1a
  Replies (6) Good night (2780) Bad night (504) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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  (917): He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat. http://tfl.nu/cst7
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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  (724): If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF! http://tfl.nu/xzr6
  Replies (13) Good night (1349) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.

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  (419): So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall. http://tfl.nu/czve
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running

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  (775): What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running http://tfl.nu/dwtn
  Replies (7) Good night (338) Bad night (1179) Order T-Shirt
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!

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  (308): Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable! http://tfl.nu/qvqx
  Replies (5) Good night (638) Bad night (129) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"

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  (248): Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion" http://tfl.nu/821u
  Replies (3) Good night (570) Bad night (162) Order T-Shirt

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