I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
